Everyday pretending to be happy. Pretending that nothing is wrong. Pretending that things don’t bother me. Having to put a smile on everyday like a mask to please everyone. Saying “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little tired” when people ask if I’m okay. For once I just want to pour my heart and pain out to someone who is willing to listen. I’m so tired of bottling everything in. I’m at the point of exploding. What do I do?

Please do this one thing for me. Make sure everyone around me is happy. Even when I’m gone. Thank you.

isolated-hearts:

Yes

All my friends. Just got up and left. I’m horrible.

Council, I feel left out. Always. Even if Ed left for SG they’re still closer to her than me. Keli constantly leaves me out of everything, it’s like I’m not even a council member. I seriously think he is disappointed that I won. Nin, she’s the only reason why I stay in council because if she can pull through then so can I. Nat, she’s just too busy. Maga, he never liked me as an officer. He never told me he was proud of me. He never said good job. But when it came to Ed he only had good things to say about her. Everyone is gonna miss her in council. Maybe I should have thought about running a little more. Nishi, she too never believed in me.

Class, I’m always the dumb one. I lie in the shadows of all the smart kids in class, nat, jhen, brian. And then there’s me.

Friends, my one and only best friend is replacing me with this girl who he claims not to have feelings for but obviously there’s something going on. You guys always text, you guys went carnival together, she’s always posting posts about you. She’s madly in love with you.

And then there’s me. Alone left in the dark. No one here for me. Honestly I wonder why I even bother. My friends seem to be all in a good place. If I were gone. No one would notice. Why the fuck don’t I just die? No ones gonna miss me. No ones gonna remember me. No ones gonna bother. Fuck. I HATE MYSELF.